Bloomsbury Coffee House
12oz Chocolate Milk (shared)
I'm on a date with my first-born, so this should be short.
When I was pregnant with the darling child across from me, I got a call from my brother informing me that I was having a girl. He said he had a feeling - he just knew it was a girl. Don't bother coming up with boy names 'cause it's definitely going to be a girl. I had had a feeling, too. I had a flash of insight at the moment of conception knowing that I had conceived and knowing that it was going to be a boy. A split second later the certainty was disregarded and I had no feeling whatsoever which way it was going to go.
As the ultrasound later confirmed, I was right on both counts.
But did I really know? My brother knew and he knew wrong. Did I have the truer knowing because it was my own body, my own child? Or was it just a statistical certainty (hermaphroditic offspring aside) that one of us was going to be right?
I believe in intuition, especially the spontaneous and inexplicable kind. I often use the example of driving home from work one night and having a split-second urgent impulse to take the first exit home instead of the closer second exit. It was so sudden and illogical that I didn't take the exit. A moment later, as I wondered what in the world that was all about, I rounded the bend of the freeway and had to slam on my brakes to avoid the stopped traffic in front of me. It took me another half hour to go the one mile to my exit and get home.
So it does seem to me that something is at work. What? I don't know. It could be that we're connecting to some collective unconsciousness, or to some meta-field of energy permeating the Universe, and we can for a moment follow the threads of future events. Or perhaps we're just processing information we don't even know we've received, and it bursts to the surface in a way that we don't perceive the connections. As I said, I don't know. But even if it's there, it seems highly unreliable, especially if it's someone else's certainty.
And who's to say that future events don't change after we've had some intuitive message about them?
All I know is that I have learned better than to disregard a gut feeling - especially when it makes no sense. I've also learned not to read too specifically into a feeling. If it's not obvious, don't push it, because it's probably something other than you expect. Perhaps someday my darling son Henry will become my "fabulous" son Henry, and his uncle will have been kind of right, after all.