Boy, nothing kills the mood like finding out your partner finds something about you completely disgusting...
And here's the t.m.i. warning for my squeamish friends and family. Proceed or turn back now. It is in your hands.
So, I was in the shower the other day and I popped my head out to ask my husband if he would care if let my pits go for a few more days since the skin has been a bit irritated lately. His reply gag was almost not comical. Apparently, he's one of those guys that thinks any body hair below the eyebrows is gross on women.
I already knew that he was surprised to initially discover where I did and didn't preserve my natural hair growth. And I knew that he was aware of my ever-so-slight fem-stache (does that make me a hipster?), so I made sure to actually don makeup for the sake of our wedding photos. However, I didn't realize that it was not just new to him among the females he has dated, but that it was actually repellent to him.
This left me with a dilemma in the shower because on the one hand, screw you guy, it's normal for female human animals to have hair under their pits and there are innumerable pictures findable on the internet of beautiful women with hairy pits, albeit mostly from other countries who think we are completely weird about body hair, which we are. On the other hand, wow do I feel fucking unattractive, thanks, hon.
A while ago, I posted a mini-blog (on my old myspace blog) that read approximately:
I have decided to stop shaving my legs. It's a hassle, it's winter, and they never come out much in the summer anyway. Am I worried about repelling guys? Nah. The next guy to get down my pants will have already accepted backfat, stretchmarks, and a low self-opinion - I don't think hairy legs are going to be the deal-breaker.
Guess I was right.
Finding an unshaven woman unattractive is weird and dumb when you think about it. As is finding an uncircumcised penis unattractive. That is unfair to the man possessing that penis because, really, all penises are unattractive. What if men in this country wanted women to start getting female circumcision? What we are already expected to do is bad enough - high heels that deform your feet over time, push-up bras and Spanx and plastic surgery. Imagine parents looking at their infant daughters saying stupid stuff like, "I just don't want men to look at her and be grossed out... let's carve up her cooch, honey!"
I am reminded that I ended a blog with a rhetorical topic question: "Dress tape - your boobs' best friend, or sticky shackles of the Patriarchy?" The answer is both. I am using some right now because, if I weren't, I would have to continually scoop my boobs off to the sides since this bra is so low-cut that the girls will, naturally, slide down the path of least resistance, resulting in what I like to call, "front-butt." Without dress tape holding them back, we'd all be suffering from permanent nip-dysplasia. If bra designers - or the fashion industry at large - knew or cared anything
about real boobs, they would never design crap like this.
Any-hoo. Back to the shower.
So, I decided to shave the pits (maybe I'll try growing my pit hair out in the winter), but I left my legs snaggly. I've also been giving my husband crap ever since this (he does graciously allow for female arm hair), but he has also made it perfectly clear that body hair does not get in the way of him loving me, or finding me attractive. So, while it bothers me that it bothers him, I'm standing my ground more or less, and hopefully, in time, he'll get over it.
No edits - good-night!